In the quiet stillness of dawn, I sat on a bench. My breath blew puffs of steam over my coffee. The sky was red as the birds sang in the morning. Every now and then something would stir in the lake and ripple the water. As I prayed, divine peace settled over me like the blanket wrapped around my shoulders.
The sun rose and a beam of light cracked the sky and warmed my face. “Do you see Me?” whispered a small, still voice in my heart.
“Yes, Lord…thank You, Jesus…” I whispered back.
I really needed God to show up that morning in a tangible way. The night before, my sister called as I attended a writing conference and gave me the news we’ve been dreading.
My brother’s brain tumor is back with a vengeance. My niece’s wedding is being moved up to Easter so he can walk his daughter down the isle. My heart was heavy and my spirit was crushed.
The scab of losing my son, Austin, was ripped open. The scar of losing my other brother, Jeff, to a car accident years ago was bright red again.
“Lord, I need you,” I prayed as I walked in the dark to that bench by the lake. As I prayed in the red dawn, I felt Him. As I cried out to Him, He answered:
“Look around. Do you see Me?” my heart felt the small, still voice deep in my soul.
As peace wrapped around me, my mind remembered the Truth of His Word:
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” ~Joshua 1:5
I know that God and the Bible will lift me up when grief knocks me down…again.
As I turned to my Bible to write this, I learned that the above verse was also written in the New Testament. The author of Hebrews packed a punch:
“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” ~Hebrews 13:5
When I think about what my brother’s family is facing, and I consider this verse, I feel like God is reminding me:
Keep your priorities straight, be content with your life, and know that no matter what happens, I am always a part of it and you can see Me every day if you will only pause to look.
Prayer: Father God, show yourself to each hurting heart. Give us eyes to see You. Let us hear Your voice in the morning light. Wrap the comfort only You can give around those who are grieving. Let us trust in You, Lord, to always be there when we cannot lift our head. For Your glory, let our grief be turned to joy. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
Sometimes life throws us into the “abode of silence.” When unexplainable things happen, it can feel like you are all alone. As a grieving mom, I have come to accept these hours or days when losing Austin is simply too much to bear. There are days when my soul feels like this picture – dark, silent, alone … dreadful. Yet, Psalm 94 reminds me of my hope:
